Chris Kelly & Julian Abel: Coming Together in the Coronavirus Era

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Navigating through the coronavirus era with compassion and success is the theme for this episode. Our guests today are Dr. Julian Abel, of Compassionate Communities, who recently joined us for a podcast on social connections and their benefit for health, performance and longevity. Well ironically this show debuted right before the COVID19 pandemic unfolded, and just days later we were told to maintain social distance. So we wanted to bring Julian back on to talk about how we can and should still stay connected during these ever-changing times. And also with us is Mr. Chris Kelly of Nourish Balance Thrive who’s been on several Endurance Planet podcasts. Chris has some very interesting perspectives and points of research that tie into the theme of today’s show. If you are seeking out some dialed in health and performance coaching check out Chris and his team at Nourish Balance Thrive.

On this show:

Self-introspection

• Chris’ recent webinar with Simon Marshall & Lesley Peterson
  • Endurance Planet podcast episode with Simon Marshall, Ph.D., and Lesley Paterson: How To Be A Brave Athlete by Managing Your Brain
  • The Brave Athlete – Calm The F*ck Down and Rise to the Occasion
  • We are not wired for uncertainty or loneliness.
• Why are some people more vulnerable to uncertainty and anxiety than others?
  • Some personality traits may make it harder to cope with stressors, such as uncertainty and loneliness.
• What’s the best way to go about “checking in” with yourself?
  • We are doing the right thing by physically isolating ourselves right now. You don’t want to get yourself or others sick, and you don’t want to spread the infection.
  • Because we are more isolated, what is going on in our minds becomes more apparent.
  • Since we are hard-wired to do the opposite of physically isolating ourselves, it’s important to connect with your compassionate motivation; we have the opportunity to see what’s going on inside ourselves.
  • Steps that you can take to improve mental health:
    • Use meditation to calm the mind. Breathing meditations may calm emotions down; your mind becomes slightly calmer, which makes the thoughts that arise slightly less intense and easier to cope with.
    • Go for a walk outside.
    • If you can’t go outside, look outdoors to connect with nature.
    • Exercise outdoors.
    • Use your awareness to see what is going on in your mind.
• Tools to use to help when working from home?
  • Noise-canceling headphones
  • Deep Work by Cal Newport
    • The importance of having a sanctuary where you do your deep work.
  • Lesley Paterson and Dr. Simon Marshall: The XTERRA Podcast
    • How to create certainty in an uncertain world through habits.
      • Atomic Habits: James Clear
• Julian says: “We have become distracted from what is important through the stimulation of our desires and our compulsion with external sources of happiness through acquisition. Instead, what we have now is an opportunity to focus on what is important.”
  • We’ve evolved to be compassionate, social beings; it’s fundamental to our survival.
  • Propaganda (book) 1928
    • The beginning of the marketing industry and the deliberate selling of stuff we don’t need. Which then led to happiness = acquisition.
  • Robert Waldinger & the Harvard Study of Adult Development TED Talk
    • The quality of relationships is key in determining our health, wellbeing, and happiness. Not the acquisition of “stuff.”
    • The first step to developing quality relationships is to be a compassionate, kind person.
    • Right now, we don’t want to socially isolate! We want to maintain our relationships while maintaining physical distancing.

Exercise and race cancelation

• Is racing the only reason you train?
• Try and focus on enjoying the process and not on an external factor (e.g., races)
• Racing is just icing on the cake!
• Julian says:
  • “We judge others by who they are as human beings, but we judge ourselves by what we do.”
  • Brad Kern’s Podcast
  • The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller

Social Media

• If you’re connecting with people on social media, make sure and do it from a place of kindness.
• Be mindful of your motivation.

Quarantine & Connectedness

• Cordon sanitaire: restriction of movement
•  Chris says:
  • Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Cacioppo
  • NBT’s survey of the past 3 years on loneliness; as of March 4^th:
    • 9% of the 13,932 respondents report feeling isolated sometimes, often, or always.
    • 9% of the 13,937 respondents report only sometimes, rarely, or never having people they can talk to.
    • 8% of the 13,951 respondents report only sometimes, rarely, or never feeling part of a group of friends.
  • Nourish Balance Thrive podcast episode with Stephanie Welch
    • Anthropological studies
    • The isolation pandemic is an inevitable result of the nuclear family; the nuclear family is a flawed and failed concept.
  • David Brooks: The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake – The Atlantic
  • Intentional communities; cohousing; tribal-based way of living.
  • Nourish Balance Thrive podcast episode with Megan Sanctuary
  • Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding by Sarah Hrdy
• Julian says:
  • Our nature is to be social; it’s deeply embedded in us.
    • We should still be developing our social relationships during this time

How can we stay connected during this time?

• Public Health Palliative Care International – COVID19 Resources
• Create compassionate streets and neighborhoods
• Neighbor and community support
• Team of helpers
• Offer assistance and practical help (e.g. shopping for someone)
• National Health Service – United Kingdom
• Help and support others
• Rebel Ideas by Matthew Syed
• Whether it’s compassionate communities or cohousing, our connections with friends/family/neighbors are crucial—the bottom line is that we need this interaction and closeness.

Moving forward & some solutions

• Reopening communities and reintegrating into society
  • Compassion, care, and kindness
  • Talking cafes, meetups, etc.
  • The Coronation – Charles Eisenstein
  • The Power of Bad by John Tierney and Roy Baumeister
  • Circles of Care: Should community development redefine the practice of palliate care?
  • Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress by Christopher Ryan
  • Running with Sherman by Chris McDougall

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